9 years old me

Hi!

guess what?

the 9-years-old-me just surfaced

just two words
and i snapped
mental break down
cried my eyes out

why?
the same reason when i was 9

i was never good enough compared to...
sigh..
it's okay
i have faith
one day i will be good enough for at least one person

there is a silver lining of being single
nobody can understand why i'm crying my eyes out for the same reason when i was 9
or 13
or 17
or 20
or 24
when you're actually 26 or more

it's not like i'm not moving on
i am f-ing moving on!

but sometime, she just surfaced
the old me
and when she come, i just cry my eyes out
like she used to

Validity Check

Hai!

Valid lagi ke membebel kat sini?

3 tahun sejak entri terakhir ditulis.

What's new?

Let me state the obvious

• Mama dah pergi mengadap Ilahi
• Ayah dah kawen baru and we called her Mummy (yup! I know)
• Currently, tengah bertungkus lumus menghabiskan Master in Plantation Industry Management. Viva lagi 2 minggu
• Never be this single
• Never be this fat
• Never be this gorgeous *flip segala yang ada kat keliling*

Pernah tak dengar, tak pernah ada kebetulan dalam hidup. 

Malam ni, digerakkan hati nak baca balik entri dolu-dolu. 

I was a messed up girl. 

Truthfully, i still am

Still crying over a love song (padahal da bertahun single)

Still doubting about friendship (duh! sangat sekolah menengah)

Still ready to flee whenever situation became worst (macam masa aku beli tiket flight last minute kalo stress kat unimas)

Dan aku bahasakan diri sebagai 'Q'. 

Like what...! *gelak guling-guling*

Hanya seorang je dalam dunia ni yang panggil aku 'Q' dan dia tak baca pun blog aku

Tapi baca balik entri dolu-dolu ni buat aku tersedar.

Subhanallah

Ramainya orang yang aku patut berterima kasih

Dan aku dah lupa dorang semua

Permudahkanlah urusan mereka semua, Ya Rabb

So, yeah. That's it. 

Till next time